A nice dose of Apathy

So, I’m sitting here on a loading dock somewhere on the FSU campus.  Today is my day to be 2nd AD, which essentially means I sit by craft services and make coffee.  No big deal.  Kinda like it.  Last weekend was the first cycle of shooting.  It started off pretty hectic for me.  I was producer, which is a major pain in the ass.  So much paperwork.  I’ve gone ahead and scratched off producer from my list of things. I was also script supervisor and Best Boy Electric.  Neither job is that bad.

I don’t have any Above the Line positions this week, so I was able to take it easy.  On Wednesday I had to get up early to help Kate go scout a location.  I got back to my house around 9:20AM and had nothing to do.  SO… I decided to start driving.  I looked at Google Maps and wanted to head South toward the beach.  If I took 98, it circles down to the beach and then heads back northwest, up toward Panama City.  Needless to say, I ended up in Panama City four hours later.  Along the way, I stopped to enjoy the view.  It was nice to just drive, listen to the radio and remember that there is a world outside of Tallahassee.  I hadn’t left Tally since I got here in August.  I will say that it made me very apathetic when I came back.  I was able to be back for a meeting at 6:00pm for the upcoming shows this weekend.  And Dude, I didn’t care about ANYTHING.  Not the best attitude to adopt.

Recently I’ve grown very tired of certain things pertaining to film school: the compressed amount of time, the lack of clarity, the egos of certain classmates.  I laugh about it mostly.  Sometimes, though, you look up and take yourself out of a certain scenario and go, “Man, am I paying tuition to put up with this bullshit?”  Sound harsh, I know.  I’m not angry, just sort of reached that limit.  I know that after this semester things tend to calm down.  I’ve also heard some of the second years complain about how they literally have NOTHING to do this semester.  They’re supposed to be prepping for the Thesis projects, but some of them have said how they feel like they’ve paid tuition for no reason the last few months.  they have like 3 classes a week and an occassional writing meeting.

That same nagging question comes up at times like these: “Could I be doing the same thing if I had just up and moved to LA and used some contacts for a job?”  You never know.  I have learned SO MUCH in the last two months. I’m certainly not saying that this hasn’t been a huge learning experience.  And I would never claim to know anything more than someone else.  I don’t feel like film school is beneath me.  I’ve heard some people allude to that and that’s just total BS.  Everyone here has room to learn and grow.  What gets in the way here is attitudes coupled with a very unforgiving curriculum. There have already been so many clashes in personalities, it’s ridiculous.  And truthfully, there isn’t a reason for it.  No one will get along with everyone.  I figured that would be something we would have learned by our 20’s.  But it’s become very apparent that certain people refuse to see anything another way or tolerate someone else’s shortcomings.  I feel like I’m back in middle with the way some people act.  I don’t like the fact that, as a class, we can still be in a position to “get in trouble.”  ARE YOU SERIOUS?  I’m 25 years old.  I feel like I’m on some reality show where they purposely grouped us because they want fights.  Maybe I’m just in a bitchy mood… maybe not.

What discourages me though is the fact I’m not exicted about the next two years or so.  I’m sort of dreading it in a way.  I wonder if everyone just goes through this.  i’m really excited about directing.  Really excited about the crew coming down to help out from Atlanta.  I’m also exited about possibly get a chance to shoot the Coke Young Filmmakers conest thingy.  But school? Ehhhh, not so much.

Hmmm, let’s see.  Nothing else really to say.  I’ve been able to keep up with my shows, thank God for NBC.com.  Finally talked to my brother for the first time since I left.  That was cool.  My Dad stopped through on Sunday to bring me some stuff from home (fog machines for set and my guitar for my room).  I almost forgot I had a Dad.  It was awesome to see someone “from the outside.”  It literally feels like I’ve been here for a really long time.  Like, years.  No joke. We hung out at On the Border for a while and then he had to head on to Jacksonville for work.  I’m pissed I’ll be on set all day for Halloween.  I’m pissed I won’t be able to go to Butler and see everyone there.  I’m pissed there isn’t a Halloween party at all up there.  There is one down here, but since we’re on set all day, it’ll be hard pressed to go.

Ok, I’m sure you’re happy you read this little whine-fest.  I’ll post some pics below of my driving adventure, in case you haven’t seen them on Facebook.

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4 Responses to “A nice dose of Apathy”

  1. Nathaniel Says:

    Calm down Travis and go drive your Taxi…

  2. We shot part of a D3 at that retro beach place… nice place to be stuck for 8 hours while the skeleton crew goes off to shoot at a gas station.

    An no….the second years right now have ONE class per week 😛

    And I dunno man, but I’d recommend, if it’s not too late, to try to hold onto as much class unity as you possibly can. It will make everyone stronger and make you have a hell of a lot better time if you can keep people from being pushed out of the circle or dividing into warring cliques. There are always gonna be people who you might not want to be on your ATL or whose negatives particularly stand out to you, but you have to find a way to work beyond that. These are the people you will be entering the business with. These will be the people who give you the lead on that job that gets your foot in the door. You should be on friendly terms with not only all 30 of your classmates, but the class above yours and the class that will follow that YOU will teach in the crew drills in not all too long. Hope things work out and you find something to stay excited about…

  3. Fire me up izzy

  4. Name (required) Says:

    DTM

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